A LAYMAN’S VIEW OF LOVE AND MARRIAGE
How does love happen? Let me state a couple of things up front so that if you disagree, I can save you the trouble of reading this blog.
I believe:
…That the heart and the mind function separately. However, if you’re in the right plave in your relationship with the right person, your heart and mind are in synch. Conversely, If your heart scores a connection ‘hit’ with another person, there is a problem in your relationship no matter what your mind is telling you and you’re with the wrong person.
,,, that love-at-first-sight is real, and it may make no sense at all. Bottom line, you can’t help who you love. There is, however a rational approach toward checking a potential relationship out…due diligence. To be meaningful, the connection must go both ways,
…regardless of your work priorities, you will eventually become who you are rather than what you do or your early-on life choices. You will at kebgth emulate one or both of your parents in disposition. Thus, for a young couple, due diligence should concentrate on a prospective partner’s parents and family history. And it is most likely a fool’s errand to think that you can change or mold your partner into something other than what they are.
If you love someone and are in or contemplating a relationship. the ultimate positive result is commitment to each other recognizing unconditional love on the part of both partners to give ‘it a;;’ if necessary to the other so as to make them the best that they can be…better than they could be or achieve alone. Commitment is the wheel-house of intimacy…you must achieve intimacy before commitment can be made. An important observation is that a physical relationship by itself does not define intimacy or a need to commit. In fact, intimacy can be achieved even without the physical act as a beginning.
I believe there are three components of marriage…ethereal, legal, and celebration or witness. When true commitment is achieved. Once committed, the couple are married ethereally( in the eyes of God). The marriage act itself binds the marriage legally, and is the visible benchmark of commitment, The marriage ceremony enables a life promise to be kept, and is a celebration of the union. By definition, the marriage commitment is monogamous.