Recycling Hindsight

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  tscory 3:27 pm on January 21, 2019 Permalink | Reply  

  SO, WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU GET HERE? 

  I am a reflective mildly intellectual person. I’m timid at relationships and perhaps too quick to air my views. I am a technical person with three engineering degrees, and am self-taught on the piano…playing by ear. I was fortunate in having had two loving parents, and fortunate in growing up in Minot North Dakota. Now, I have become who I am…a writer. I have only recently realized the process that has gotten me here. The few paragraphs to follow give a qualitative view of the process I’ve experienced.

  All world cultures are structured to provide both an identity and a touchstone for each person. Whereas animals are programed with instincts, humans have freedom of choice and any person’s psyche requires these two items. A person is compelled to find them somewhere if they are not available within their immediate social environment, they may go to peer groups or elsewhere, often undesirable in nature.

  My father was writer and a scholar; but, he spent very little time with me, and out relationships depended very much on my initiative. So I identified with academic, science, and technology. My touch stone became ham radio via my best friend. But following a successful engineering career I became who I am…a writer, with a touch of music in deference to my maternal genes.

  But, our social structure in America is now diverse and family units are more often that not blended. Crassly speaking, an American family often consists of one or more adults and children cohabiting, In a complex society like a typical urban environment, children have difficulty in defining who they are and what capabilities and opportunities are available and within their reach. Over several generations, the ‘identity’ mantle has been passed from the family to the school and then to the church..or else even to nefarious groups such as gangs. Often both schools and churches expound views that are to idealistic, or esoteric, or simplistic.

  I was fortunate in that I found myself because of the simpler life when I was young, and because I knew and love my parents even though I struck out on my own.

  Critical thinking is the main tool for assessing talents in the search for who we are individually. This used to be taught by first teaching common sense. Traditionally, such thinking was a toolbox for enabling children (and adults) to experience the cause and effect of real life as it unfolds.
   

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  tscory 1:58 pm on January 2, 2019 Permalink | Reply  

  A LAYMAN’S VIEW OF LOVE AND MARRIAGE 

  How does love happen? Let me state a couple of things up front so that if you disagree, I can save you the trouble of reading this blog.

  I believe:

  …That the heart and the mind function separately. However, if you’re in the right plave in your relationship with the right person, your heart and mind are in synch. Conversely, If your heart scores a connection ‘hit’ with another person, there is a problem in your relationship no matter what your mind is telling you and you’re with the wrong person.

  ,,, that love-at-first-sight is real, and it may make no sense at all. Bottom line, you can’t help who you love. There is, however a rational approach toward checking a potential relationship out…due diligence. To be meaningful, the connection must go both ways,

  …regardless of your work priorities, you will eventually become who you are rather than what you do or your early-on life choices. You will at kebgth emulate one or both of your parents in disposition. Thus, for a young couple, due diligence should concentrate on a prospective partner’s parents and family history. And it is most likely a fool’s errand to think that you can change or mold your partner into something other than what they are.

  If you love someone and are in or contemplating a relationship. the ultimate positive result is commitment to each other recognizing unconditional love on the part of both partners to give ‘it a;;’ if necessary to the other so as to make them the best that they can be…better than they could be or achieve alone. Commitment is the wheel-house of intimacy…you must achieve intimacy before commitment can be made. An important observation is that a physical relationship by itself does not define intimacy or a need to commit. In fact, intimacy can be achieved even without the physical act as a beginning.

  I believe there are three components of marriage…ethereal, legal, and celebration or witness. When true commitment is achieved. Once committed, the couple are married ethereally( in the eyes of God). The marriage act itself binds the marriage legally, and is the visible benchmark of commitment, The marriage ceremony enables a life promise to be kept, and is a celebration of the union. By definition, the marriage commitment is monogamous.
   
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  tscory 4:05 pm on September 6, 2016 Permalink | Reply  

  HEY. WE’RE IN THE BACKSEAT OF OUR FUTURE! 

  I don’t know if our next generation have the skills and disposition to carry our nation forward. Day-to-day, our view of issues and situations is seemingly myoptic as we now live ‘in the moment.’ instead of using our American heritage and family as references for future planning. There is little rhetoric regarding specific solutions going forward. They seem to be surfing the waves of social media without an anchor.

  It is disturbing that perceptions of truth for the most part lack the due diligence expected for an individual personal assessment of any snippet of reality. As critical thinking is suppressed, the type of control manifest in ‘mob psychology’ is possible as well as loss of ethics and morality. Of course, the ‘window’ of thinking needed for real solutions planning is also closed.

  My own experience goes back one generation and forward three generations. I can see advances in technology overtaking our ability to understand and adapt as a society. Cultural changes tend to be generational so that where we see our next generation going can be expected to last about twenty years, and changing only slowly.

  We can view our ‘almost ready’ next generation just like removing baked goods from an oven…that is, we cannot immediately change them…and at best only slowly. But, beginning with the children, we can change the generation after next. Our education systems should require a conversation with each child…the antithesis of Common Core. And, perhaps the most important trait to be developed is to question everything, and never state an opinion unless it is their own.

  It would be helpful to remove some of the situational randomness from the process of growing up. Every person needs a sense of belonging as well as an inspirational goal related to their talents. Of course, traditionally these came from the family and/or local cultures. The closer we can match the goals of a child to their talents early on, the more fruitful their learning experience will be. It is well to observe that the greatest disconnect in relationships lies in the difference between what the do and who they are. I believe that every person eventually morphs into who they are.
   
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  tscory 2:48 pm on August 8, 2016 Permalink | Reply  

  WILL U READ & SHARE MY NOVELS? 

  If you respond to this post with contact info, I will send you one or more of my novels to read and share in the belief that eventually I will find an agent and a publisher. Four novels combine serious issues with an engaging story; and, four novels involve relationships. The serious novels are ‘THE GREY SABLE CONFLUENCE’ (a Tom Clancy like novel),  THE COMPASSION REQUEST’ (reflections on the Viet Nam war)), ‘INFRASTRUCTURES’ (effect of workplace on personal life), and ‘A MODERN ANTHEM’ (an Ayn Rand type novel). The relationship novels involve second chances in various situations.are ‘UNTIL ONE DAY,’ CHOOSING,’  ‘A DISTANT FAMILY,’  and ‘CONSEQUENCES.’
   
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  tscory 7:35 pm on August 7, 2016 Permalink | Reply  

  WHICH CAME FIRST, THE CHICKEN OR THE EDUCATED? 

  If we prioritize political issues, education has to be at the top of the list. A smart person once said, “…it must begin with the children,” the economic ‘a chicken in every pot’ coming in a close second. Another person observed that the purpose of society is to raise and nurture children so as to be responsible adults for the succeeding generation. Considering that the performance rating of U.S. education is well down  in comparison to other countries, no one can argue against the above premise. Drilling down a little deeper, most educators will tell you that you must inspire and teach to the individual student via a synchronized conversation between teacher and each student. This, then, is why mandated ‘Common Core’ implementation of the noble ‘No Child Left Behind’ concept is certainly an over-reach of  an enthusiasm mindlessly defying logic. One might analagize the ‘top-down’ governmental regulation of education as uniformly fertilizing a lawn with a purposeful myoptic view that all grasses and weeds must be fed together and the same. Historically, schools were enabled, implemented, and maintained at the local level. Then, each adult indeed had a voice and used it in town hall meetings. Perhaps the scariest conclusion is that many Americans either just don’t care; or, they refuse to participate in the exercise of precious American democracy. When was the last time you attende a PTA or PTSA meeting…if such meeting are ever held anymore. Education is one of many issues in which each individual voice has been lost, and diversity has been equated with divisiveness according to a scale of political correctness.
   
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  tscory 7:18 pm on August 30, 2015 Permalink | Reply  

  ARE YOU DIFFERENT THAN WHAT YOU DO, so, then, who are you 

  I know I would have been happier not being a technologist. There has been good fallout from this, however, because of the discipline of logic and the means of processing information. I now wish that I could have been a creator-of-writing, a proponent of critical thinking, and an effective conversational voice on issues. Maybe with a syndicated column, and/or talk radio, and or a forum host.

  My take is that the most difficult dilemma in our lives may be the difference between ‘what we do’ rather and ‘who we are.’

  No matter what our circumstances,  as we get older we can’t help approaching closer to ‘who we are’ in our living. When young, how close we get out of the gate growing up depends in large part on the perceptiveness of our parents, teachers, and significant social others in deducing who we are. And then in guiding and providing incentive plus inspiration in helping us find ourselves and in applying our talents.

  As we converge on who we are, we are challenged…do we then live increasing functional-only maintenance-based non-serving lives; or do we overtly transform our lives with outreach.

  Absence of this guidance as children, on the other hand, may be causal in many mid-life separations and divorces. If we were animals, our behavior would be preprogrammed. But, as humans, we are in chaos without the structuring effects of culture, family, and a healthy social environment. This chaos may well be behind the immoral unremorseful killings and youth wanting to join ISIS that dominate the current news cycles.

  Our psyche demands that we seek and we find an identity anyway, provided by a peer group or some other social group…bad or good.

  Finding what we need is a two-step process that can be described in several ways.: we seek identity, then purpose; we seek validation, then entitlement; and we seek belonging, then acceptance. As a society, the degree to which we do find ourselves, and do pass the process on to our children indeed defines the cultural fabric of our nation.

  Because families are broken in large numbers in the U.S. we know that both adults and childen have been cut loose from needed bonding. Marriages become functional only, with minimal compassion or companionship…and less likely to be a partnership. Such relationships begat a lack of inspiration, of purpose, and as passion. They are not positive and become judgemental and divisive.

  So…where you you fall?  Comment please!

   
   
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  tscory 12:14 pm on August 22, 2015 Permalink | Reply  

  ARE WE LOST IN THE WOODS, OR WHAT are we alone, or with folks like us 

  I’m not trying to write a preached, tutorial diatribe of philosophical hogwash. But, I have struggled and am now struggling to achieve a realistic perspective of our country going forward. So, peek at these following words if you can…and comment! Please Comment!

  Every person has to exhibit social responsibility for a nation like America to work. Complacency has clearly siphoned off manufacturing and jobs. This social responsibility is the voice of the people who care enough to become involved. The current election cycle brings this to the forefront of our minds. My history teacher once told me that every great civilization…like the Greek and Roman empires, for example…fell because each had it’s peculiar set of barbarians hammering on it’s walls. The collective mindset of citizens was dumbed down with good living and a lack of ‘who me?’ responsibility beyond themselves..

  I once took a child for a walk in a city and began to point out things with questions, like: where did these streets, and lights, and buildings come from? And, who takes care of these things? Are we responsible for maintaining our heritage and building it further for the next generation?

  Looking forward, in years, we cannot help having a blended national and well as international society because we are pushing the limit of natural resources worldwide due to an ever-growing population. It will be important to preserve the traditions of the multi-cultural environment. In effect, we must achieve concensus without compromise, without watering down the individual cultures involved.

  Our representatives in congress will do no better than the degree to which we hold them accountable, day by day. Think about these things!
   
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  tscory 8:56 pm on August 20, 2015 Permalink | Reply  

  COMMUNICATE WITH NEWS WE CAN USE, tutorials and theory just don’t cut it 

  These days, everyone is seeking help of one kind or another; and, heaven only knows we all need it! We’re an age of talk and do nothing compared while needing proactive conversation…and action. Of course, our national congress is the prime example of this.  We’re really looking for solutions to our problems. We’re looking for relationships we can trust.  We’re looking for relevance and validation regardless of our age; these things usually associated just with youth.

  Example, Why does Joel Osteen have such a voice, filling area’s with many thousands of people, while many individual churches in America are hurting for members. The answer is simple, Osteen gives us news we can use flavored with inspiration and empowerment. Why can’t the same principles be applied to secular issues…and, as a stretch, political issues via transparency. It sure proves that should’a-could’a would’a tutorials that don’t offer solutions just don’t cut it.

  So, we should be listening and talking

   
   
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  tscory 3:58 pm on August 19, 2015 Permalink | Reply  

  ARE YOU THE PERSON YOU THINK YOU ARE or, maybe you’re the person inside trying to get out 

  If your parents got it right the first time figuring out who you were and pointing you in the right direction; or, if by some incredible fluke you figured it out yourself, you are likely successful and happy…or, at least comfortable in your own skin. But many of us go down the wrong path to begin with,,,later, finding that we can’t live with ourselves as it’s going, For sure at sometime in our lives, we will become in touch with our God-given talents, persona, dreams, and desires…better sooner than later.

  It’s a matter of what we do and how we got where we are now. Even look at relationships and how random a process they turn out to be, What we become without upfront direction or incentive most likely stems from a circumstance(s) we encountered rather than from a preplanned path forward. If we are ‘Type A,’ we interact strongly and with at least some purpose in our social environment. So, finding ourselves early is often easier. In almost all cases, getting ‘out there’ with some kind of a job is the right way to expose our talents and link them up with desires We often don’t find out what we’re really good at as young adults.

  So we diverge, living ‘what we do’ rather than ‘who we are.’ If this is you, you won’t find real satisfaction until you initiate change. A few observations…women are more likely to be ‘trapped’ in a life that is not them than men because of the inherent male family and cultural control issues in our society. Men are often more affected emotionally, whereas women are often more practical in exercising common sense. Women are often less likely to ‘rock the boat’ and initiate change.

  So what to do if we find ourselves in such a situation? Overt sudden changes in life and lifestyle often lead to disaster and/or undesired and unintended consequences. A progressive pattern of Incremental changes offeres the greatest chance of success.
   
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  tscory 6:23 pm on June 23, 2015 Permalink | Reply  

  WHO IS CALLING THE SHOTS ON EDUCATION…what happened to the PTA? 

  When I was growing up, and when my children were growing up, we served a vital local role through the PTA…and, later, the PTSA. The curriculum was chosen by the local school board, and the budget was largely funded via local funds under local control. At some point, in the infinite wisdom of political forces, the curriculum choice was moved to the state level, and local school districts were held hostage by the state in doling out the funding. Now, without being specifically critical of Common Core, the curriculum is being implemented by the states under the wisdom and tutelage of the federal government. So, with this in mind how do we as parents interact with the schools.

  The short answer to this is something we may have forgotten in that it takes a village to raise a child. It’s perhaps a pipe-dream to resurrect a PTA level of parental involvement and/or curriculum control in today’s socio-economic environment. But, on a community-wide basis, there are some possibilities using volunteers that may or may not be associated with a particular school. Such possibilities include mentoring, recognizing academic and arts achievements similarly to athletic lettering, debate (forensics), spelling bee’s, particular artistic skills (per volunteer experience), and others. If implemented as extra-curriculars with volunteers, the government money control issue disappears. Other volunteer programs could be implemented as ‘after-school’ programs to accommodate the often disparate two-parent working environment.

  Today, prominent educational issues do not address the needs of the particular child…at any point in time, or place, ideally to be matched with the skills of a particular teacher. Instead, we are dealing with more broad group issues of testing, teacher evaluation/ratings, and of the nuts and bolts of Common Core and it’s implementation.  So, are we involved in education…or, more precisely, in children; their wellbeing and future? What do you think?