ARE YOU DIFFERENT THAN WHAT YOU DO, so, then, who are you

I know I would have been happier not being a technologist. There has been good fallout from this, however, because of the discipline of logic and the means of processing information. I now wish that I could have been a creator-of-writing, a proponent of critical thinking, and an effective conversational voice on issues. Maybe with a syndicated column, and/or talk radio, and or a forum host.

My take is that the most difficult dilemma in our lives may be the difference between ‘what we do’ rather and ‘who we are.’

No matter what our circumstances,  as we get older we can’t help approaching closer to ‘who we are’ in our living. When young, how close we get out of the gate growing up depends in large part on the perceptiveness of our parents, teachers, and significant social others in deducing who we are. And then in guiding and providing incentive plus inspiration in helping us find ourselves and in applying our talents.

As we converge on who we are, we are challenged…do we then live increasing functional-only maintenance-based non-serving lives; or do we overtly transform our lives with outreach.

Absence of this guidance as children, on the other hand, may be causal in many mid-life separations and divorces. If we were animals, our behavior would be preprogrammed. But, as humans, we are in chaos without the structuring effects of culture, family, and a healthy social environment. This chaos may well be behind the immoral unremorseful killings and youth wanting to join ISIS that dominate the current news cycles.

Our psyche demands that we seek and we find an identity anyway, provided by a peer group or some other social group…bad or good.

Finding what we need is a two-step process that can be described in several ways.: we seek identity, then purpose; we seek validation, then entitlement; and we seek belonging, then acceptance. As a society, the degree to which we do find ourselves, and do pass the process on to our children indeed defines the cultural fabric of our nation.

Because families are broken in large numbers in the U.S. we know that both adults and childen have been cut loose from needed bonding. Marriages become functional only, with minimal compassion or companionship…and less likely to be a partnership. Such relationships begat a lack of inspiration, of purpose, and as passion. They are not positive and become judgemental and divisive.

So…where you you fall?  Comment please!